Behind the Scenes Crew
Garrot - Artist
Skelebean - Artist
Alfabusa - Creative
Jamie Isfeld - Web Dev
Magnifigal - Animator
The Game Master
Back at Gen Con 2019, Thurston (AKA Thursty) was hiding in a corner on a break trying to read the latest Games-Workshop preview announcements. Then, a shadow fell over him and ominously asked “Hey, do you like the Warhams?” Who would have thought that only a year later, Thursty and the shadow (later revealed to be ZoranTheBear) would join forces to start Warhams!?
Thursty began his Warhammer career back at the start of Warhammer 40,000 3rd Edition, where he picked up a box of 6 Genestealers and never looked back. Thurston went on to drink deep from the cup of tabletop RPGs, starting with AD&D 2nd Edition. Despite vehemently protesting he’d never change to 3rd Edition, he did so, eventually going so far as to write for that edition’s spiritual successor, Pathfinder. Today, Thursty works in the gaming industry as a developer for Paizo’s Organized Play campaigns. In his off time, he writes for a bunch of different games and tries to paint at least one of his many tabletop armies. He is the proud owner of over seven Battlefoam 720 cases, 5 of which were won from raffle draws at conventions.
Playing as Lorn & Barin Stackwall
This shaman of Fenris was taken by the black ships to become a sanction psyker at a very late stage. Normally people found with psychic abilities would be brought to the imperium of man at a young age, but it seems someone forgot to mention Lorn.
Lorn is played by ZoranTheBear, a content creator of 10+ years. ZoranTheBear has worked with gaming companies of all shapes and sizes on how to bring their games to you. And now with WarHams, Zoran plans to bring his personality and friends to your screens.
Playing as Captain Zedek
Hailing from Hive Calvisius, Zedek Mascadolce is the owner and captain of the Debt Collector and is charged with ferrying his colleagues through the stars wherever and whenever they are summoned. While avidly trying to fill the shoes (and greatcoat) of his father, Zedek aims to live up to the mantle he’s inherited and make his own mark upon Imperial history – assuming his puns don’t get him killed first, of course.
HulkyKrow is a voice actor for If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device and assorted Warhammer 40k fan projects. A self-taught pianist and fan of both spicy foods and psych-rock, he is working on improving in his hobbies and finding purchase in the wider voiceover industry from his perpetually-frozen hovel.
Playing as Reeb Van Horne
Fresh from the Orbital Research Platform above Gravaux, Reeb Van Horne is an affable medical savant whose primary purpose is keeping the fleshy components of his cohorts neatly secured to their skeletons. Outside of that, he mainly aims to keep them from making the mission harder than it needs to be, with varying levels of success.
Earndil is a lead writer, voice actor, voice director, cat herder, Alfabusa wrangler, and accomplished chainsaw juggler for If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device. He is a cat lover, Nurgle enthusiast, and plans to break into gamedev as soon as things stop killing him. Likes Pasta.
Playing as Pi-Braine
Hailing from the oceanic Forgeworld of Lemuria, π-BRAINE is a brave, dauntless, and incredibly high strung mechanical warrior. Originally the designated Alpha of Skitarii unit ‘π-42a’, π-BRAINE received numerous commendations for his high slaughter efficiency rating (as well as several demerits for reckless endangerment). In spite of repeated admonishments, π’s service record was enough to give him the ultimate prize for a Skitarii– a rare chance to prove himself to the Cult Mechanicus. Given a probationary rank of ‘Explorator’ and seconded to the Officio Ambassadorum, π is strangely the sole Lemurian asset donated to the Crusade. Regardless, BRAINE is wholly committed to proving himself worthy of his new title and bringing glory to the name of Lemuria! Oh, and the mission too. I guess.
SpeakerD is a lead writer, voice actor, and general funny haha man for ‘If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device’. When he’s not scheming madly into the night, SpeakerD is an elf fan, a clown connoisseur, and possibly some form of Italian wizard. His tabletop tenure is without reproach, having been in the trenches with rpgs and wargames for as long as he’s had taste. Be warned! He will talk about Mage: The Ascension for hours to anyone who will listen.
Playing as Zilyana Stonebloom
From the fantastical boughs of Avelorn hails aspiring knight Zilyana Stonebloom, a high elven woman with a smile bigger than even her rippling biceps. Her desire to prove herself a warrior worthy of one day acquiring a silver helm of her own finds her striking a path out of Ulthuan and into the Reikland. Acting as the personal bodyguard (read: babysitter) of her childhood friend, the wily noble Mercurion, their adventures see her run ragged trying to keep her charge (and her newfound dwarf and human pals) from a gruesome end.
Odo is a fan of “If The Emperor Had A Text-To-Speech Device” and long time personal friend of Speaker D, summoned from the abyss via ancient blood ritual to join the Warhams crew. She’s a graphic designer, hobbyist, cosplayer, tabletop RPG-enjoyer, Slaanesh simp, proud mother of the world’s smelliest cat, and a player of too many hours of the same two video games.